Quotes about your boss

Quote from a recent meeting:"Weare going
to continue having these meetings,
everyday, until I find out why no work is
getting done".
Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was
your fault. I said I was going to blame it on
you."
A motivational sign at work: "The beatings
will continue until morale improves."
A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed
over a lot of good people to get the ones we
hired."
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought.
That's because it's unfamiliar territory.
My Boss said to me, "What you see as a
glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.
My Boss needs a surge protector. That way
his mouth would be buffered from surprise
spikes in his brain.
I thought my Boss was a bastard, and quit,
to work for myself. My new Boss is a
bastard, too ... but at least I respect him.
He's given automobile accident victims
new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and
performs rudimentary tasks, all without
the benefit of a SPINE.
Some people climb the ladder of success.
MyBoss walked under it.
Quote from the Boss after overriding the
decision of a task force he created to find a
solution: "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the
impression your input would have any
effect on my decision for the outcome of
this project!"
HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've
had no computer training. Although that
qualifies you for upper management, it
means you're under-qualified for our entry
level positions."
Quote from telephone inquiry "We're only
hiring one summer intern this year and we
won't start interviewing candidates for that
position until the Boss' daughter finishes
hersummerclasses.?

Men vs Women

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A womanwill pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful womanis onewhocan find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To behappy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but marriedmenare a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8.Awoman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of anewargument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.

Top 20 things you don't want to hear during surgery

1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
2. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
3.Handmethat...uh...that uh...thingie.
4.Ohno! I just lostmyRolex.
5. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
6. There go the lights again...
7. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys...and this guy's got two of 'em."
8. Everybody stand back! I lostmycontact lens!
9. Could you stop that thing from beating, it's throwingmyconcentration off.
10. Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?
11. What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?
12. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
13. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
14.Whatdo youmean"You want a divorce!"
15. Fire! Fire! Everyone get out.
16.Damn!Page 47 of the manual is missing.
17. Oh, look everyone. It's lunch time.
18. The foot bone's connected to the, leg bone...
19. That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
20. Hey, if you pull on this it makes a funny noise.
70 Source:www.amusingfacts.com/humour